It’s the end of January and here’s what’s up.

The conversations I’m hearing are about how exhausted people are. The holidays are over, we have nearly a month of the new year under our belts and the tiredness is catching up with us.

One needs to wonder if the pressures they are feeling are from lack of sleep or lack of peace. If it’s sleep, we have put ourselves as a priority and let go of something, in order to make time for rest. At a Ayurveda Clinic in Bulgaria I attended this past fall, SLEEP is considered AS important to good health as NUTRITION. Really!!

So much of the time we think we just need a massage or a day away. And while they are definite possibilities, the part most of us don’t understand that we need to disconnect.

In this day and age of our amazing… crazy… technology… it’s more difficult than ever to truly disconnect.

We somehow have gotten into a mindset that we should be available to others, whether it’s a significant other, family member, or our jobs 24/7. When did this happen?

I remember for myself, when this happened. I was so excited when cell phones became mainstream because it meant that I could continue my addiction to being needed, solving the problems of the world, and feeling important, without missing a beat.

I was the Director of Ministries for a church when I scheduled a meeting at the river. I thought it would be a welcomed change from meeting in a boring room.  I was a bit surprised when one of my employees announced she couldn’t attend as she wouldn’t have phone service.

When I questioned her about it she said “What if my children need me?” “They’re in school,” I replied. “Yes, but what if the school calls?” “For what?” I continued. “What if they get sick?” “Then, they go to the nurses office and wait until the end of the day when you are scheduled to get them.” I know, it’s a terribly antiquated way of approaching life. 

Part of our exhaustion is that even when we are away… we’re not away, we’re not resting. Our brains have no time off. While getting a pedicure recently, I noticed there was not one person in the salon that wasn’t on the phone or computer. We can’t ‘get away’ if we won’t truly ‘get away’…  letting our souls have a chance to catch up to our bodies.

The downside of our being available 24/7 to everyone and everything, we don’t give other people, including our children an opportunity to grow. When we’re available to them they don’t get to think and figure out and try things to see what works. We rescue. We’re not letting them figure things out. And if you want to get down and dirty with it all, it’s really about us. We aren’t living our lives, so we meddle in the lives of others. Oh yes, we think we’re helping. We think they can’t do it alone. But in effect we are crippling them.

Years ago I had a priest friend ask me a question when I was struggling with this.

“Did you ever think you’re giving others an opportunity to grow, rather than you’ve deserted them.” It’s a line I remember to this day and it’s a line that helped me be strong to leave my marriage of 30 years.

So it’s not Impossible. Decide if you’re willing to make YOU… your physical and mental health a priority. If you are…. take some time to truly disconnect. It’s Self-Love… It’s Self-Care!